October is my favorite month, it’s the season that brings me feelings of comfort and coziness, as the California temperature turns from golden to gray and feelings of hibernation and slowness roll in. There is a shift that comes in October, a reminder that it’s time for some things to die or sleep and come back refreshed. And, the light that October brings is just so beautiful and sparkly. It shines through the leaves and the tree branches, through the ocean waves and the ocean-kissed sand. It’s pretty special.

October 2019

Worth saying though, I really love the summer, I love the bright California haze, the lakes, the golden-ness, the warm sand, the energetic, magnetic behavior of the Pacific, the mellowness of the hot summer days. And I love, love winter, especially in Tahoe, with the gray or bluebird skis, the sometimes snow and the sometimes no snow. And then there is Spring, where the trees are bright green and the air so fresh.

But fall. Fall has my heart. I think it’s from growing up in Vancouver where the trees turn all the colors. To this day, 30 plus years later, when I think of fall, I think of picking up tender maple tree leaves to use for a crayon rubbing project. I can feel them in my hands and see the bright yellow, orange and deep red. I also recall biting into the most perfect of perfect, vibrant MacIntosh apples, with insides so white, it felt like I was eating snow.

This has been an October like none other, but in many ways, I feel even more cozy, even more ready to settle in and watch the weather. The kids are at home, amidst Covid times and an impending election. I think there has been a secret wish living in my heart that I would get this opportunity to have my babies close, to see first-hand what they are learning, to watch how their minds work in relation to taking in information, following the teacher, accountability and organization. And they have amazed me.

Yes, it is a ton of work. But I keep thinking, this is a (fingers-crossed) once in a lifetime world event and dammit, I want to make the most of it…and I think we are.

Over the weekend I put on BooFest, the Curious George movie that my kids have loved for years and years and years, which we always watch through the month of October – No Noggin’ is no joke, and I am not typically a fan of kid shows. Anyway, to my utter dismay, my boys weren’t interested. Reality slammed into me, once again this year, that everything is flying by and each moment and season matter dearly. Blinking back tears.

Anyway, this October has proven to be my favorite of all time. I get my kids here with me, I was able to steal away for a long, long weekend with my favorite friends for some time in the Sierras – which I am literally still basking in and the weather has finally started to cool and shift.

I’m excited for what’s to come, for a new and interesting holiday season, for simple and fun times with our pod, to watch the kids as they grow and learn and adapt and flex. Kids are quite extraordinary! And so complex, but so simple at the same time. Cry, breathe, hug, repeat.

I am happy. And so so so grateful.

Mamas Getaway (Heaven)

At the end of all the days, but especially special after the long days, the days with battles and fights and compromises, tears and the odd bruise or semi-savage bite, we unabashedly crash into the softness of the impending velverty night where all the sharp edges melt away.

We crash into cozy beds with good books, star projectors, audio meditations, cuddles, clean teeth, air purifiers, lavender, sweet-smelling heads and the odd shriek or lost lizard squishy or dropped lovey.

These pics are our bedtime, a rare bedtime, as Noah is out watching basketball, and wow, I’ve got to hand it to Noah here, as he is chief and captain of wrangling our boy dragons to bed. It’s no small feat.

I fall asleep only moments after our biggest dragon baby breathes his last fiery breath…but still, with all this effort, with all this messiness and loudness and bandaids, I never, ever want to forget what they were like at 4, 7 & 10. When we are still Mama and Daddy and they still hold our hands…

It’s fleeting and it’s fast.

Every single night, Matty heaves over his top bunk and kisses the top of my head and says a million I-love-yous (literally close to a million). No matter how hard the day was, or how tough bedtime is, he is present and intentional with this goodnight love. It was only yesterday I rocked him to sleep…

Benny wants a cuddle in his bed and after he’s tucked in, he loves to run down the hall to my room to get extra cuddles. His last words are often, “I love you more than the world,” but “world” is pronounced, “woad” and it makes my heart explode.

Our baby dragon is sleeping in our room these days on a little cozy cot. It’s all my fault, I love having her here. Because when she’s gone, it’s the first separation and then there will be another and another and another. Not ready. But don’t be fooled, she’s a fierce and fiesty baby dragon who gets her own food and takes zero crap, she’s as independent as they come.

Sleep well, my baby dragons. I’m watching over you.

Trying to focus on the good…

I’ve decided to focus on the good I see in the day-to-day moments of these very strange times we are living in. We always say, “the time flies by” and “the days are long but the years are short” and since I am obsessed with pictures as memories (and my kids!), this feels perfect.

I have loved how social-distancing/quarantine has stripped away a lot of chaos and frankly, a lot of nonsense, from our lives. We miss regular life, especially friends and family, and we will most definitely miss trick-or-treating, but this is an EXPERIENCE, where we will look back and it will feel fleeting…like a flash in time.

I know that things will go back to normal before we know it and there is lots of richness, growth and opportunity, right here in front of us, with this gift of togetherness. LOTS of togetherness. And so much weirdness.

Come with me on this journey to save and savor all the good in this madness…

With LOVE and in solidarity XOXO