Let’s be honest, lovey. The 2’s & 3’s were hard on us and hate to admit how much time I have spent with scrunched eye-brows, pointed fingers, and shushing lips. We drove each other crazy, little one, but we survived it. I hardly ever see glimpses of my baby in your face anymore, which makes me feel a mishmash of pride and heartbreak all in one overwhelming moment.

Even though these young years are somewhat tumultuous, filled with development, lessons and growth, they have been the best years of my life so far. You came into this world early, before you were ready, and fought your way through the NICU to home and back to the NICU. We used to peer over your little isolette with all of your tubing and wires and see your eyes, bright blue and beautiful, staring back as if you’d known us forever. This memory makes me cry. I felt so connected to you even before I could hold you.

You are such a fighter.

You are so brave and so tough. I will never forget picking you up from school this year with road rash on your face and head, still crusty with blood. Your teacher told me that she couldn’t get you to stop playing after you fell and skidded four feet across the ground. As you told me when you were 2, your head is as hard as a Pachycephalosaurus and we’ve had lots of incidents that prove you right.

And, while I do adore the fact that you are fiercely in love with your brother, I hope someday that you can hug him with out knocking him over and grab his hand without mashing his fingers and dragging him along beside you.

Aside from the gentle abuse, Ben is so lucky to have you as his big brother. I love watching you giggle together and I love how his eyes light up when he sees you. I love it when you alert me to the fact that Ben is eating chalk, a fly or dirt with such a sense of urgency. I know things won’t always be perfect, but I do know, because you are Asch boys, that you will grow to have each other’s backs, be loyal and loving.

I love your squeals of joy, even when they pierce my ears. I swear, love bug, you might be the loudest babe I know! It’s because you love life so furiously and I think this is going to serve you well in the future.

It was you, my first baby, who cracked me open and taught me about real, raw, unconditional love. You made me a mom.

I could go on and on and on about you and what I love about you for pages and pages.

Happy Birthday, gorgeous boy.